Tuesday, January 23, 2018

So many times... (ramble ahead)

(Warning Rambles ahead)

So many times I have visited my web site here with intentions of blogging. So many times I have clicked on the few blogs I am following little snippets and read. So many times I have taken pictures on my cell to share on this blog. So many times I have written blog posts in my head. However, so many times when I come here to write, I am not feeling like writing.

So many years I keep paying for this domain name. When I first started blogging I wanted to be cool and recognized. I wanted to be able to put my .com info on the back of a shirt and have someone come read my blog. I wanted to be internet known. I realized fast that wasn't going to happen. Especially when there is one blogger here in FL that (yup I am in FL) has so much personal info out there that combined with my job skills and public records I can pull her address up in 5 minutes. Also, did you know there are website devoted to bashing bloggers and other web sites? I didn't till I did. I would never want to have a thread devoted to me. I am wayyyy to sensitive for that and I would have to read it. LOL

I am lost in the internet world.  I have NO IDEA who I am at this point. I mean yes- Obviously I am female, married, mom of 3, fur mom of many, FT employee of a small business.
Do I blog about my family? Meh, I LOVE to show off pictures of my family but I don't want to share names or possible personal info. (see above) 
I cannot blog about my job (hello, security issues)
Blogging about my animals/chickens can only go so far.
Blogging about my want to live simply and pay off debt.
Blog about my ability to not seem to be able to do that once you let me loose in a store like the blue box or red circle. Or as I like to call the red circle "My Happy Place"
 My want to have EVERYONE read my blog and yet my want to have only a main core group of supporters/friends.
My want to make everyone happy and not make waves to the outside public.
My want, well I can only assume my fake want, of losing weight.  Why do I say that? HELLO MCFLY I have been "weight loss blogging" for over FIVE YEARS NOW. That is a looooong time to play with the same pounds over and over. My like 3rd post back I mention this and how I keep yo-yoing and what the hell am I doing.

I don't know if I will ever know.

 I am happy when I fit into size 16.  I would like to fit smaller of course, we all would. Size 16 though is my medium place.  That is where I was in high school. It is to close to the teeter totter edge though. One though of "F it" leads me down the path of F it all and the clothing starts to tighten. 

Damn, I have a lot of wants apparently. I was already rambling but now my rambles are annoying me so I can only imagine how you feel.