Back on track

Day three of being back on track.  :)

I suck

In typical fat girl fashion I thought I was strong enough to handle this shit. "I got this!" I said.  Well me thinks it got me.  :/

 I *thought* I had pulled myself up from the boot straps before we even left Louisiana. Instead- I have made every wrong choice I could when it comes to eating. I have eaten wheat AND sugar in one form or another since I made that last post even though I told myself I wouldn't. I have "planned" on staying on track for the last 3 days and I haven't. Those damn wheat/sugar products sing an awful loud siren song when your not in the zone.

I was up about 4 lbs in La. on a foreign scale on what would have been my normal WI day. Up 3 pounds when I got home.  Up 1 pound a few days after getting home (Tuesday)  I claimed Tuesday as a WI day as I was scheduled to work on my next normal WI day (today). I decided I would kinda just go with a middle-ish ground between the two weeks. I admit to using fat girl rational so I only show a 1 pound gain rather than possibly higher. You would think I would use that to my advantage to have a awesome loss next week. So far it is fail on that aspect.

Hoping that publicly sharing this will help me make the right choices in the future days till it is a no brainer again. Not dumb enough to chronicle the things I have eaten (HAH!) I have the correct choices in the house/at work I just have to make the effort to reach for them. One small plus is I got in all my liquids today for the first time in umm over a week?  I am off to bed.  I get to sleep in tomorrow but I don't predict it working out as well as I hoped.  Husband is not feeling well and I am on kiddo duty till he feels better.

We are home!

We got into town about 11 pm last night.

Our trip into Alabama to see my aunt and uncle went wonderfully. Remembered to snap a few pictures before we left thankfully. My mom was there two weeks ago for a surprise visit but she wasn't allowed to take pictures as my aunt had her hair in curlers. Haha  They knew we were coming so we were allowed pictures. :) It was so nice visiting and learning tidbits about my splintered family. My mom and dad moved to Florida when I was young to basically cut the family tree branch- it worked.  I don't even know the names of all of the siblings my parents have. That is not a bad thing though. The family-ectomy was necessary at the time but now we can work on taping that branch back on. The toxic people in the family have all passed on.

Thursday night was spent in a hotel 6 hours north of were we live. Then we spent a few hours with my dad and began the long drive home. We drove out of FL at night with the kids sleeping so it took forever this time with them awake. When we were about a hour from home I had a bright idea. A former boss/friend of ours bought a bar in Gainesville, FL a while back. We hadn't made it up there to see it yet and it was on our way home so we texted him to see if he was there. He was just leaving so we made him stay. LOL  It is a dog friendly sports bar so that made it even better as a stopping place for dinner.

Shameless plug:
Anyone in the Gainesville area? Go check out Gator Tales- It is across from the YMCA.


Picked up Maggie from my brother's house and she was soooo happy to see us. He said she would stare at him and whine and he couldn't figure out what she wanted. Poor thing! We got home and unloaded everything into a big pile in the center of the room. Got all the laundry prepped to wash- we went with the just wash everything we packed approach. LOL

This morning I vacuumed out the rental and thought it looked fine. Took it to turn it in and the rental guy said I needed to take it to have it vacuumed out by a car wash place due to the dog hair. He said it was a $150 cleaning fee if I didn't. UGH!!  The web site said they were pet friendly so I never expected that. Thankfully it was only $5 to have it done at a local car wash. It passed inspection after I took it back. It actually worked out in the long run as we had taken out the hatchback trunk cover and that was still at home on the dining room table. Whoops   So hubby and the kids ran home to get it while I was at the car wash place.

Like most people home from a long vacation we are broke. :/  Thank goodness I paid the bills before we left!  LOL  We picked up Monty and brought him home then hit the grocery store. Got what I could with what I had and we just have to make that last for now. There is plenty in the house because I used to tend to overbuy and I still have lots of rice/pasta mixes which hubby likes. Back to work this week so I got some stuff to tide me over for lunches as well.

Took a two hour nap this evening so I will be hating myself later tonight.  :)  Oh well I have tons of blogs to play catch up on anyway.

A packing we will go

Our time is almost up here in Louisiana. As soon as I get up from this post I have to start getting our stuff together and packed up tonight.  The boy's boy cousins will be showing up for the last hour we are here to squeeze as much time in as possible before we leave. They will all miss each other a lot. The plan is to leave around 11 am tomorrow to head to AL

Originally we were going to meet family in Mobile for dinner. My dad ended up having to cancel so I decided to change the plan. Rather than make my 70+ yr old aunt and her 80+ yr old husband travel to us we shall travel to them. :) This is the aunt I haven't seen since I was about seven years old. I want to see her house and pictures of the family and what not. After spending a few hours with them we will be heading back into FL to spend the night in a hotel. Then we shall spend a few hours with my dad (grumpy grandpa if your a long time reader) Six or so hours after we leave his house we shall be home.  We will swing by my brother's house on the way home to pick up Maggie. (He is starting to regret agreeing to dog sit I think.   I bought him something with boobs in New Orleans so I am hoping that will make him happy) Return of the rental car on Saturday and then a day with nothing to do.

My fat cells were bigger than my brain tonight when we hit the grocery and I bought naughty stuff I shouldn't have because it was a good deal. It was stuff we don't have back home so that was my excuse. :( Thankfully my brain caught up before I gorged. Now I am not saying I haven't had shit this week but there was no reason for the quantity I bought. Thankfully I am waking up from the vacation mentality. I still have one more meal to get through (Aunt is making supper for us) and then I can go back to my normal veggies/protein. Sure I could have kept that up this vacation but I didn't want to.

The main naughty I wanted to try here was a beignet. Honestly, it wasn't that great to me. Hubby and family loved them though. We had them from the famous Cafe Du Monde.

Lots of cool pictures but I haven't uploaded them yet.

Off to pack now.

Nom, nom ,nom

This was my lunch!

Minus the corn and the tiny potato and several ones that were given to family.  Holy hell were those little goobers SPICY! That alone helped me get my liquid in for the day. Haha! (not beer-bucket was for shells)

I was wide awake last night so we decided to leave 4 hours earlier than planned. Three stops and a few temper tantrum thrown by B and NINE HOURS of driving and we arrived. We got here at 6:30 am and it feels weird seeing my computer saying 5 pm but the clock says 4 pm. I have been up for 33 hours so I am thinking about trying to grab a quick nap. We have plans to go to hubby's other aunt's house tonight for a huge spread we hear. I am looking forward to trying brisket for the first time. 

Sorry ladies (gents?), I will not remain food sober on vacation. That does not mean I will be food drunk either though.    

In 9 hours

In 9 hours we will be getting up to go pick up the rental car for our trip.  I just popped a sleeping pill and I hope to sleep as deeply as possible tonight. Tomorrow will be a rough day as I work all day then we plan to leave for LA between 9 pm and midnight. A big thank you to my sister and hubby who will be staying at our house for us.  We traded, they are staying here and Maggie went to their house.  LOL  She is skittish around  people she doesn't know well and she knows my older brother whom they live with. 

All my stuff and the pup's are packed. Mini wiener Kiwi will be traveling with us. That shall be fun as he dislikes car rides. 

Weigh in went well.  :)  Up to 31 lbs down.  I am not promising a loss next week just to warn you all in advance.  LOL  Vacation and I want to enjoy myself traveling to a different state.  Especially one known for many foods. 

My battery is about to die and I need some sleep.  I don't know when I will update yet. 

Packing

Just a quick update to let you know all is well.  Lists are being made and things are being packed in anticipation of our vacation. A few days left and we will be traveling to Louisiana! We are starting to get excited!

So much to do with adding in work in the mix as well.  Tomorrow will be day 6 of 6 of me working in a row.   Last minute schedule changes messed everything up and I get to suffer because I will be the one going on vacay.

Body Love?

I just don't get the whole body love thing that I am seeing lately. I cannot love my body as a morbidly obese person.  I can give up and accept it eventually but I cannot love it.  I love that it keeps me alive and doesn't cause me pain on a daily basis like some people deal with. I love that it helped me conceive and birth two healthy babies. But I cannot love my bumps and rolls as they are.  After I lose 50 more pounds though we can talk. Haha

You might think my self esteem is shot by the words above but it isn't. Sure as a child then teen it sucked. I hated my nose and my thighs. I realized the other day I haven't thought about my jewish nose or my thunder thighs in years! I guess as I got older I started to accept some parts of my body. (Not like I could change them without lots of money or major surgery anyway)  I tend to have tunnel vision and just look at my face/hair and by golly many days I look damn good (to myself). Some days I do not and I just smile a quick smile at myself and move on figuring it is what it is.

Good for (general) you for loving your body but please don't share it with me. I stumbled across a picture on a public blog recently and it literally gave me a nightmare.  In my dream my hands were feeling a flat lower ab area but my eyes were seeing this picture I stumbled across with my face.  It was seriously weird!  I have been kinda skeeved out since then about my own fat. Because if I wore the same outfit my gut would look the same as this picture. Yes I know the whole if you don't like it don't look but dude how about a warning. I could understand if it was a weigh loss blog and they had starting or progress pictures. Those don't bother me at all! This was a flagrant LOOK AT ME!  (No I wasn't on a chubby chaser blog.  I was on a very popular blog actually)

Anyway you might not agree with me and that is fine.  I am just stating my thoughts on my blog.

Ugh The "L" word

Well I made it to having an almost eight and a five year old before dealing with this.

 UGH!

I walked in the door at work to the phone ringing.  Turned off the alarm and looked at the caller ID to decide if I wanted to answer since I wasn't open yet.  It was A's elementary school.  Answered the phone only to be told that he needed to be picked up ASAP as he has live lice. EEKKKK!  I got a hold of hubby who went to get him. Hubby's eye sight sucks for details so he couldn't see anything to check.  I was stuck at work for 10 hours so there was nothing I could do.  Told hubby to turn up the hot water heater and start washing things.

Fast forward to 7 pm and I hop on over to CVS armed with ideas on what I wanted to try before I go chemical route.  As of right now I'm working with tea tree oil and experimenting with dish soap. Yeah I know sounds wacky as hell but I figure I have nothing to lose.  Tea tree oil shampoo treatment and then the search began for those little buggers.  I felt like I was flea combing a animal with those lice combs.  When ever I found one I would dunk in into hot soapy water and it would sink and drown. The tea tree shampoo killed some but a few were still alive.  The soapy water worked instantly so I figured what the heck and he got a second wash in Dawn. By that point I had combed out the lice anyway so I don't know if it got anymore but it was worth a shot. (Yes, I know it can dry his scalp) The the nit picking out began.  Ugh! What pain in the ass that is! They are so tiny and the comb doesn't catch them all the time.  B. only seems to have eggs so his was caught early.

After the kids were settled I ran the comb through my hair and found one.  EKK!  Shower with the shampoo then Dawn and I couldn't find any others. I don't know about eggs since hubby cannot see.  So I will just have to do this daily till the boys are cleared up.  (If this doesn't work I will go medicated) Hubby combed and didn't find any but he will still be treating.  He uses lots of gel so that might be his saving grace.

I am off tomorrow so lots of stuff to do.  The beds have been taken care of but that is it.  It is also weigh in and I hope for a lower number than last week.  Of course the pepper, onions, and fajita sausage I just had for dinner might not help that but what can ya do. I didn't eat all day from stressing over being at work while my kids were infected with bugs so I was hungry.

Now I am off to go read your blogs and see what you all have been up to. :)

Calorie free therapy

Thanks for all the supportive comments yesterday lovers. NOT!!!  That's ok though.  I still love ya because you came back to read my drivel again today.  :)

I tried to do a last minute day trip today that didn't pan out. I also worked 4 hours on what should have been my Saturday off. I was *over* the day and still feeling blue about yesterday. I reached out to a friend through text and told her how I was feeling upset and frustrated. She asked me what was wrong and it hit me like a  frying pan to the back of the head. (frying pans... who knew right?  name that movie)  I was still feeling the leftovers from yesterday and I didn't know how to deal with them... I was struggling with them so much because I was making a effort NOT to eat my feelings away.  Holy shit! I didn't even know I was doing it. Yeah me! :)

I decided on a little calorie free retail therapy to soothe my soul.  I have been getting really frustrated with my pants selection lately. (But I REFUSE to buy more 18's when I have many pairs already that don't quite fit)  The only jeans I have that fit are that pair of RL that are heavy weight jeans material and the L4 jeans I got at the thrift. (One of the 14s were actually L4? sized men's jeans) They fit but are baggy and I am getting tired of the sag. I grabbed a pair of 18's that didn't fit 2 weeks ago and decided what the heck let me try again. Imagine my surprise when I realized if I sucked in a tad I could button them AND zip. YEAH! So I finally have some form fitting jeans. I had hubby snap a picture before we went into town. Of course while the picture looks a hella a lot better than the baggies I have been wearing I see a problem. My hamstrings have a layer of fat!! Ugh, I mean yeah I know about my rolls and gut but I knew not of that.

     

My nails actually look some what decent for once so I decided nail polish for the retail therapy. Karen posted a picture of her tootsies in a tardis blue on FB and I liked it. Hubby loves that show so I figured I would get a blue like that. We met with my brother in town for dinner and then hit ULTA. I ended up with 5 polishes from there and then another on clearance from Target later. So many shades of blue to choose from but we settled on one. Then a few others were chosen based on color coolness with us all.

5 bottom ULTA  Target for top one.

So while I have gained those pants now fit so I really can't be to bummed about that. :)  Off to hit the hay as we have water park plans again tomorrow.

 I hope you discovered something today that made you feel better about your weight loss efforts!