Tuesday, July 1, 2025

July 2025

 I would like to list all the goals for the month of July but to be honest I have none.

Well I suppose I have a few but they are more of hopes and wishes to recover quickly and easily from surgery and to lose weight.

I had my pre-op appointment yesterday and I was so nervous about it. Turns out I was nervous for no reason. It was just a sign in, go over things, and do bloodwork. I have my instructions and special soap to use for two days before surgery and then morning of. 

I felt like I had something amazing things to blog about yesterday and now I am completely blank.

I do not have to have an alarm set till surgery day though so I am a free bird until then. 

Oh, I remember why I was thinking I had stuff to blog about. I went to Aldi yesterday because I was sad. 

Retail therapy in the form of groceries. I thought about what I bought before I bought it and didn't get a bunch of random crap. Total was still way higher than I expected but it is what it is. 

My husband's aunt is not doing well and doesn't have long on this earth I hate to say. She was diagnosed with stage 4 uterine cancer at the beginning of April. She went in for 1 treatment of chemo. She ended up falling (vertigo) and while in the hospital went a bit crazy I was told. They figured out she had a UTI and got her treatment. She was transferred to a rehab place and went a bit crazy there as well. Another UTI was found. In the mean time, her will to live has been going down hill. 

A cousin out of state came and took everything over and moved the aunt to Louisiana with her 2 weeks ago. She was telling me what horrible shape her body parts are in right after aunt got there. I know before she left she had sores on the bottom of both feet and a bed sore on her tailbone. It seems aunt only wants to sleep and is refusing food. Dr. up there gave her 2 days to 2 months. This news coupled with surgery anxiety has me seriously sad of course.

Normally, I would reach for sugar and junk to eat my feeling but instead I chose to buy some salmon to make teriyaki salmon and rice which is a comfort food for me. I looked at so much at Aldi but I wasn't even tempted to buy junk. This makes me realize that I might just be in "diet" mode again. Meaning I will last more than just a few days. 

I am not tracking really so I do not know exactly how many calories I am having but I am making better choices. Better to overeat a bunch of salmon than a bunch of sugar. It makes sense in my head even if it might not in yours. 

I didn't have all my liquid yesterday and I am not on track to have it today so I need to work on that. 

My c-section scars are making themselves know and are uncomfortable. I didn't know if it was all in my head or not but after googling it looks like it is really happening. I have been trying to work on my pelvic floor on my own to be prepped for surgery. Pelvic floor muscles run that high so I am basically pulling on my scar tissue from the inside which is why I am feeling this way it seems. 

 How bizarre that just flexing those floor muscles travels up that far. I have 3 bikini cut scars that I did zero scar care on. The are in my fat crease and the skin is already thin there so there was no way I was going to be rubbing on them to try and break them down. Anyone with a belly shelf will understand where I am coming from. 

Sunday, June 29, 2025

Sat 6/27

Friday was a good day for working on myself. Saturday was a not so good day.

It actually was a fine day I just fell face first into two of my most current obsessions. They are both out of the house now though so I will not be listening to the siren call of their yumminess. They have turned into a trigger food for me so I need to not buy them at this point. They are both fine on their own but I have issues with portion control when it comes to them. UTZ cheeseballs and TruFru chocolate covered strawberries. 

I didn't do any movement yesterday either. I probably will not do any today. I did however have my liquid yesterday and should have it today too. I found a way to keep up with myself for this that is working. You all probably remember how crazy I am about liquid intake when it comes to tracking it. (I consider anything sugar free to be water. If you do not that is fine as we all have our own opinions) We have a fridge that is only a year old but two of the shelves have broken and I do not have the funds to replace them. A 3rd shelf is cracked I noticed which is annoying. I just do not understand how they can be made so flimsy. Anyway, due to this breakage fridge space is limited. I have been drinking my SF sweet tea lately but just do not have room for a huge pitcher.

Last weekend I picked up 4 quarts of Miso soup from a Japanese place near us. I really like Miso and had been wanting it lately. That meant I ended up with 4 soup containers. I washed them and was planning on just keeping like Tupperware but then an idea hit me. Fairs use those kind of containers for lemonade and people drink out of them. I filled two of them with water to chill and was planning on dumping in a cup the next day and adding water packets. Then I had the bright idea to use them for brewing my tea. They teabags are meant for 32 oz so that works out perfectly. I take one out and dump the tea into my cup and then refill with water and add a new teabag. I have a rotation going as in the brewed one moves left and the new brewing one goes on the right. If I needed to I could stack them but they fit on one of the remaining shelves fine. Lots of exciting things around here I tell you! Not.

 I have my pre-op appoint set for tomorrow afternoon to do bloodwork for my upcoming surgery in July. I am just trying to plan and maybe figure out how to get some stuff situated before this. I am trying to cook things that are in the house as we are b r o k e. The surgery is another $96 a month on CareCredit on top of our alright tight bills. 

We have about 800 in the bank after all of July's bills are paid to cover groceries and gas and anything extra. His first check will not hit until 8/15 and that will have to cover the mortgage so it isn't late as the 16th is our late date. I have no idea how we will cover the amost1k in bills that is due before the 15th. That isn't even counting my car payment as I will roll that into the end of the loan like I do every summer. In addition to our car tags being due and I see my water bill credit will only last through July so new bill due August. Plus I will have to pay for my class in August which will be about $350. So much to deal with- ugh! 

Oh well  I am glad I typed this out as I now have a potential plan. It isn't a great one but it is what may  need to happen. I need to not touch the money in the bank and use it for the August bills. I will instead start putting groceries and what not on a paid off credit card. Better to play catchup on a credit card than to pay late fees to various billers. 

I cannot believe it is 5pm on Sunday night. It does not feel like a Sunday since no work tomorrow. 

I should go inventory what I have in the freezer. I pulled out ground beef earlier and saw a pork roast I forgot about so I am sure there is more in there I do not remember.  I know what is in the pantry pretty much from the last clean out. We have not been out to eat in several weeks and will not be going out for quite a while since we do not have the funds as I said. We last went out Father's Day and I knew it was a bad idea but I wanted the yummy food too. Usually we would go out for my birthday July 14th but I won't even feel bad skipping it and my brother's a week later on 21st since I will be recovering from my 7/7 surgery.

Whoa! I just updated my ticker using yesterday's number. I have actually lost 2.2 lbs. from my ticker "start" weight on 6/8 which was the number I updated it to when I blogged 6/8.  Of course I started trying to make better choices 6/19 so I should use a number from that time frame but I need that loss for my mental health. Once I start losing more I will tweak the start number maybe.  Weight loss is all about mind games sometimes.  

Friday, June 27, 2025

Baby step forward

 I will be running out of titles the more I blog it seems.

Today has been a good day. :)

I woke up in a great mood. Made myself an hubby breakfast because he was awake as he had morning practice for Cross Country summer conditioning. Then I came back and relaxed in bedroom till Kroger delivery got here. I was quite cross to see that he had fallen asleep in that 30 minutes so I had to haul the order in myself. I put the cold stuff away and then back to bedroom. I figured they could put the room temp stuff away. How about my daughter was the first one up about 2 pm and it is now 6 pm and everyone else is still sleeping. 

During summer we turn into a nocturnal family it seems. I decided I needed to get some movement in at 3 and I completed a 30 minutes workout. Just a few movement on the workout machine we have and then some wiggle/dancing and then 60 kettlebell swings in sets of 20. I didn't want to do anything too outrageous and make myself give up. I have been putting off movement since I figured why bother since I wont be able to do anything after surgery for a while. But then I decided it won't hurt to get some movement in. I have plans on eating very low carb today and maybe a few more days beyond that depending on how I feel. Halfway done with my liquid now and it is 6:07 so I need to work on that more.  It isn't like I am going to bed soon but I already get up often to pee. Speaking of that....BRB  HAH! Ok while I was in kitchen I filled my cup and cleaned my scale. The bottom feet and the top glass part. You know I HAD to step on it right? It was only .6 higher and I have drank at least 50 oz of liquid and changed into a heavy outfit after my shower.  Could just be a coincidence though. At least I know my bladder is running since I went before I went into the kitchen and then I had to go AGAIN five minutes later after I left the kitchen. I am hoping surgery will improve my bladder size as I think it is being squished in there. 

I did end up keeping my surgery and now have the pre-op appointment set for Monday 6/30 and then pre-registration called and I paid the copay on credit. $96 a month for 24 months no interest but that just means adding to our already overdrawn monthly budget. Siiigh. It is what it is- I just pray that I will be one of those people that it turned out to be the best thing to ever happen to them. I was looking at old blog post and saw I mentioned our monthly bills. I WISH that is what they were now- they are 2k HIGHER than back then. UGH!!!

The reason I wanted to move today and get in my liquids is because I have been trying to do some memory searching as to what I was doing back in 2019 when I was last actively losing. I have been eating similar but I realized I was not drinking anywhere near the amount of liquid now than I did back then. Back then I was drinking 80 ounces plus a day (of diet soda) and moving more intentionally. With either walks or just trying to keep up with my bosses steps for the day. It was a game because 99.9% of the time she beat all our butts in steps for the day. 

I had eggs with ham and cheese and half an avocado for breakfast. A protein shake for a snack (techincally lunch as breakfast was eaten at noon) and I am planning a ham salad for dinner. Might throw in some turkey as well. I will be making hamburger helper for the boys later. She already made herself some nuggets so she won't be hungry. 

Thursday, June 26, 2025

One step forward

So I was FINALLY down a pound yesterday. I think part of it was that I weighed in nekkid before a shower so that pound was probably my house dress. Then of course this morning I was up 2.6 lbs. Hahahah!  I ate well and actually drank my liquid but did fall face first in the cheeseballs last night so I think that is why. 

I also cannot help but wonder if this fibroid is not helping me lose either. Things I have done in past that worked are just not working now. 

I seriously thought about cancelling my surgery yesterday. I woke up to a text of how much they want before surgery and it is over $2200. I do not have that just laying around. Hell, I do not even have enough money for August at this point. I have a feeling some bills are going to be paid late because he will not get paid till August 15th and me after that.  We have bills that start on August 1st including the mortgage! I have open funds on Care Credit at least- I just do not have the funds for a higher minimum payment. I will figure it out somehow as always. 

Yesterday was my first 100% FREE day! I did have an iron appointment at 4 that I came close to forgetting about. At 3:15 I looked at the time and was like wait a minute isn't my appt today??  I got there in plenty of time and was able to go right in. My iron is looking soooo good!  It was 5.2 in Feb.  The last three months it has been 12.2, 12, 12.5  Yes  The HIGHEST it has ever been at the 12.5. So this tells me I HAVE to keep my surgery in place. The only thing different is that I have been taking that med to reduce my menstrual outflow. I have also gone up over 10 pounds since February as well. 

You might be wondering why I said yesterday was my first free day. I FINISHED ALL MY CLASS WORK Tuesday evening! While the term is technically on till 7/8 all of my work is completed and turned in. I should end up with a A, A, and C+.  The C is my fault because I rushed stuff but I did that on purpose because I am just over that class and school in general. It was the second business law class and I just don't care anymore. My GPA is still going to be at 3.86 with the C+. 

I HAVE ONE CLASS LEFT TO COMPLETE MY BAS!!!!  

Fall A will be my Capstone class and then I am DONE!!!!!!!


Monday, June 23, 2025

Umm about that

 I had high hopes on Saturday

Each day my weight is still high though which is disappointing. I know they say not to weigh everyday but I do. I just seem to just creep higher each day. My eating has not been perfect but it has not been crap either. My calories are well under my limits.

I just figure my body is being a little brat. I know I just need to continue on and watch my eating. I low key expected to be lower today as I only ended up with one meal and a snack yesterday. Hah! No- it was higher. Buuuut truthfully it should be because that was a day my carbs were way higher than they have been and a had a fair bit of sugar when I hadn't had much lately. We went to a birthday party for a 10 year old. I did have cake and homemade mac n cheese so that didn't help but I didn't eat dinner either.  I was not hungry.  I did have some cheeseballs though. I have been obsessed with the UTZ cheese balls lately. 

I just have to keep moving forward.

I could save this and not post but I want to get it out the the WWW and maybe I'll come back and visit tomorrow again. 

Saturday, June 21, 2025

Fresh start

Fresh start number 134,234

One day at a time.

No fancy statements.

Just making better choices. I have lost in past without calorie counting. Just by avoiding high carb/sugar things and making better choices. 

I am working on this again. I just do not have the patience or follow through to weigh everything out and count every single calorie. I am at a high yet again. 250 to be exact is what I weighed in at yesterday. I kept calories low but my carbs were a bit high (90- which is low compared to how I have been eating for months) and I am at 250.2 today. Hahah  Bodies are DUMB!

That is ok though. One day at a time!!!!!

I can finally relax (for now) since I finally started summer break!!! We have been out since 5/29 but I have been going everyday still working on my internship. I have completed my 120 hours of internship at my school as of 6/19. 

I have 3 classes for summer and I have 100% completed one of them. In my internship class I just have four things left to do. In my third class I have 3 tests left to take. The lowest score is dropped- I can get a 0 of 25, 8 of 25, and 8 of 25 and still pass this class business law class. I am to the point that I don't give a crap if my grade is a C. Which it would be a 70 on the nose if I did that. I will of course aim for higher than that on my test scores. 

Last class is in fall A!!!  I am so excited and ready to be DONE!

I have 16 days until surgery and I am nervous! I have 16 days of summer break at least till then. Technically I do not go back till 8/7 for work and like 8/14 for school but from 7/7 on I will be in recovery from surgery. The plan is laparoscopic but who knows what they will find in there due to 3 c-sections. 

I mentioned in my last post I had done a thing. I signed up in April to take the Florida subject area test for Business Education 6-12. I couldn't find much to study with and was a bit worried about it. My county is supposed to send test materials when you prove you signed up for test ($150 to sign up) but they said they were out of the book and new ones wouldn't be in by time I test.  ARGH! I ended up connecting with someone on reddit who made their own study guide with AI and they shared it with me. I bought a 100 question test bank on Teachers Pay Teachers. The night before I finally found the Quizlet study guides. I couldn't find them till I backtracked questions from the TPT thing. Then I found hundreds more sample questions. Quizlet after quizlet of possible questions.

 I was so very nervous! $150 is a lot of money to blow and fail a test. 

I took the test in Gainesville at a testing center. I was given scrap paper and a sharpie but no calculator. There were money math questions on the test! DO you know how long it has been since I have done long division or long multiplication?? I used two whole pages of the scrap paper trying to work out one question!!  Hah I had to narrowed down to two answers. Some questions I knew the answer to from my schooling, some I made educated guesses on, and some were a wild guess. Out of the hundreds of questions I studied, there were 2 of them on the test I had. 😐

When I left they gave me the paper with the score folded so I did not know the outcome. I walked outside and opened the test hoping for a PASS but knowing it might be a FAIL. I saw the outcome when I opened it and immediately my eyes teared up.

PASS

I went to my car and just sat there for a few. Then I called my husband and told him the news. I also told him that question that I was stuck on and used two papers for scratch. He told me how to do it on a calculator in like 5 seconds. I picked the right answer!!!  LOL  I then sent a picture of the pass to many people and posted it to Facebook. 

I do no have a Bachelor or a temporary teaching license but I am considered highly qualified by the State of Florida to teach Business Education 6-12.  😂😂😂

Sunday, June 8, 2025

June 8th life stuffs





❤️ REMEMBER THIS:

You’ve done HARDER things than this.
You’ve birthed babies, run households, earned a degree while working full time, and STILL show up with love and drive.
You are NOT lazy. You are NOT broken.
You are overwhelmed—and now, you’re supported.


💌 Affirmations (Stick these on your mirror too):

  • I am not weak. I’m just tired—and still going.

  • I don’t have to be perfect to make progress.

  • I am allowed to prioritize myself.

  • I’m not “starting over”—I’m using my experience to start smarter.

  • The scale is just data—not a moral scorecard.


I had a nice little chat with ChatGPT just now. At least till I reached my daily question limit. I even mentioned that I was ashamed of using it because I have heard how damaging it is to the environment and it told me:

Thank you for saying that, Crystal—and I want you to know, there’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Reaching out for help, especially when you’re feeling overwhelmed, is an act of strength and self-respect.

Let’s talk about the environmental side, too—because your concern is valid, and you deserve a clear answer:

🌍 Does AI use resources like water and electricity? Yes.

Just like every technology—from the phone in your pocket to the internet you use to blog—AI uses data centers, and those data centers use water and energy to stay cool and functional.

But here’s the other side:

  • OpenAI (the company behind me) is working on making AI systems more efficient, more transparent, and more sustainable. That includes better cooling systems, carbon reporting, and finding ways to reduce waste.

  • AI is already being used to solve climate problems, optimize power grids, track deforestation, and reduce food waste in supply chains.

  • Most importantly: you using AI to get help for your health, your life, your goals? That’s not wasteful. That’s meaningful.

If using this service helps you lose weight, reduce your risk of diabetes, feel supported, and show up for your family—that is not something to feel ashamed about.

You’re not burning down a forest—you’re asking for help. And I’m here for you. Every step. Guilt-free.


I have so much I could type and I uploaded a bunch of pictures but the way it posts them is annoying. I did a thing yesterday but I think I am going to wait to talk about that. Because right now I am talking about my eating. I am up- up. Not my highest ever but pretty damn close.  Like 2 lbs or so close.  Thankfully my clothing fits so that is not a stressor. I am dealing with little things though that are coming from being up in weight which I do not like. One is something I have never had before but I am blaming my weight. Waking up in the middle of the night and feeling like my food is going to come up. Like I can taste the aftertaste of the food.  I panic for a moment then just relax so it will go back down. Google says it is regurgitation and a sign of GERD.  It has only happened a few times but that is toooo much! 

I am in my last four classes for my BAS. Three currently then one in Fall A then I am DONE! School got out 5/29 but I am still there even though I am off contract. Why? My internship class. I have to complete 120 hours of management internship for this class. There was no funding for them to hire anyone non-instructional for the summer. Their work around this was to having students volunteer to work in the front office for community service hours. I am "managing" them as my internship assignment. The student hours are 8-5 but I have been doing 10 hours of 730-530. I am at 50 hours so far and have 70 hours left. I cannot wait to be done and be on summer break. Of course with surgery scheduled for July 7th that makes my break uber short. Yes, I will have a full 5 weeks off before I have to go back to work but recovering from a hysterectomy is not my idea of a fun time. I do not think they can do it robotically due to 3 previous c-sections so I am expecting a full abdominal slice.  


Off to go catch up with yall!









         I like this hack idea!                                                 

You can get protein/egg/cheese at Chikfila. This is fried but you can get grilled as well. Just an idea for anyone in the future.                 

Business law 2 as I call it. I can have a 4x6 notecard of notes. These are my notes for test 2. I still got a D on it. I probably should have read the chapter. Hahah

side two of my card.                                    

Family BBQ yesterday                                                

My breakfast yesterday with a past it's prime avocado      

little bit had swim lessons yesterday morning. She is the one with the instructor


 

Saturday, May 17, 2025

May 17, 2025

I have found my way back to my blog.  At least for today. 😂

My classes ended the first week of May, and I am happy to say that I passed all 5 classes from the Spring term with A's. The summer term started on 5/14, and I am taking 3 classes this term. One of them is Business Law (part 2 basically), and that was the first class I ever struggled in. The tests are honorlocked, which means you are recorded in a lockdown browser. The good news is that even though this class is hard and the tests are worth a lot, she tries to help. The actual assignments we do are guaranteed 100% so you can get a D on every test (lowest score dropped) and still pass the class with a C. I am also completing my internship at the school where I work. I must complete 120 hours by 7/8.  I plan on having it all done in June. My main job will be managing the student volunteers who will be working in the first office over the summer. 

My itty bitty passed her FAST test, so she will be going into 4th grade next year. Third grade is a mandatory retention year in Florida now if they do not score at least a 2 on the reading test. She entered the year with a 2, so we knew it shouldn't be a problem for her. I was just concerned due to the pressure that is put on them to pass. She knows exactly who didn't pass last year, who is repeating 3rd grade. She scored a 4 and was only 4 points away from a 5, so we are thrilled for her. 

I am toying with the idea of trying to eat better. I say toying because lord knows how many times I have tried this and failed. I was not happy with the number on the scale this morning and I know DAMN WELL it is due to all the full sugar soda and other crap I have been eating. 

I have a YMCA membership for the months of May and June that I have been using to swim. I jokingly asked my brother to sponsor me, and he CashApped me the money. I plan on cancelling for July since I have surgery scheduled for then. 

I wanted to have a long post, but I am accomplishing things today and feel good, so I don't want to stop my momentum. I am going to attempt to straighten my room now. I have no idea what dinner will be yet, but there is plenty of stuff in the fridge that I can make easily. 

The pics are of my current summer classes and my breakfast from today. 













Monday, April 21, 2025

Time flys!

 I am deep in the trenches of these two classes I am in for Spring B. Just wanted to smack something up. 

Sunday, March 9, 2025

Spring is approaching

Blogging two Sundays in a row? WHO AM I?

I blogged after a long hiatus last Sunday with March so you may want to catch up if you missed that. You really should go read that first so this next part makes sense if you have not yet. 

I got a call on Monday that my iron infusion had been approved (yeah, the one the DR ordered 2/12 for "tomorrow" just got approved on 3/3) and scheduled for Wed. I went on Wed 3/5 for 1 of 2 iron infusions. My 2 of 2 will be on Wed 3/12 Then I have two weeks and will see the oncologist and get blood drawn again on 3/26.

 We only have four days of school this week and then we are on Spring Break!!! My new classes start tomorrow- I am only taking two this B term. One of them is online and one of them is in person on Thursdays this time. I happen to have the same teacher for both classes so that will be weird. It just said staff when I signed up and for term A it had a last name starting with G. I guess that person fell through. I have the single night class Thur. and then the college has the same week of SB as my job so that is nice. I have absolutely no idea what I will do with myself with nothing to work on for an entire week. I'm sure the spring bug will bite and I will want to garden or something that I will never follow through on. Hey, at least I am being honest.

When I was at the follow-up appointment with the midwife I received a script for a medicine to take during my cycle. I only got 24 days this time rather than the standard 28 so I am glad I picked it up right after my appointment. It is supposed to slow down the output which will hopefully help keep my iron inside of me. I just started it this afternoon- It is 6 vitamin (yuck) sized pills a day- 2 in the morning, 2 at noon, and 2 before bed. I had this med in my IV at the hospital so at least I know that my body can handle it. 

I ordered Kroger delivery last week with the intention of cooking. When it came down to it I wanted to enjoy my afternoons off of no school and not cook. So when I placed my order this week I kept that in mind and stayed with the normal easier dinners that we have been living off of. I need to stop with the takeout because money is going to run out really quickly. I only have like 7 more paychecks left till summer and I cannot work summer school like I usually do. All the extra grants and funds are exhausted so the schools are running on a bare-bones summer budget. They do not even have enough in budget to have a receptionist/clinic person. That means there will be no one to answer the phones technically.  I do know they are planning on having students do it for volunteer hours so that will help. I will also be there as free labor as part of my 120 internship hours. We barely survive when I work summer so this is going to be very hard. The good news is I just filled our taxes last week and it is just under what I would have made had I worked summer school. I must throw that in saving and not touch it. I also need to make sure to set money aside for my last class. The plan is two this term, three over the summer, and then the last class in Fall A. I cannot use PELL funds unless I take two classes but I don't want to break up the summer classes into two and two. I would rather pay cash for that last class and just take one since it will be my Capstone after all. 

Ok so might as well share my plan for dinners this week. I don't really do a Monday is X Tue is Y because I go with what I feel like making. I have lots of stuff that can be cooked but it is a matter of actually cooking it. 

 
Lunch:  Smoked sausage with diced golden potatoes and onions (Air-fried sheet pan meal) for me. I love this for breakfast or lunch. I just crack an egg in and heat it up if at work. I cook an egg over easy and add to the top when at home.  Hubby complains that smoked sausage is greasy. So he will have leftovers or cup of noodles for lunches. He is one who is not a foodie and just doesn't care about food. So I finally stopped trying to give him yummy stuff for lunch. 

Dinners:
Brats with fresh broccoli (Air fried sheet pan meal)  
Frozen chicken tenders with tater tots
Ribeye with asparagus
Something with ground beef or pork chops- I have both in freezer
Chicken wings

Good news- Mentally I am starting to feel better. As I was reading ya'lls blogs I was tempted to go to the gym. What the heck!? I don't even have a gym membership anymore. LOL, But commenting on MaryFran's blog about a certain book reminded me that I was listening to that book when I was swimming regularly. Maybe I need to sign up for a gym membership again this summer. It would be $65 for both my daughter and I to go and be able to use the pool. She loves the "teen area" which is open 4-7 M-Friday. They allow 8+ in there so she can go and enjoy the small group attention she gets when there. I think the time change is also contributing to the feeling of wanting to get out too. 

Ok off to do something productive. I have wasted half of my day already. 

Sunday, March 2, 2025

March

 I'm alive!

Potentially barely but I am here still kicking.

Remember me mentioning my iron was low and I just didn't care. Well, let's just say that blew up in a big way.

Let us see if I can get this all down. I tend to get sidetracked and not complete what I planned on writing. 

Last term I had planned on taking 6 classes this term. You may remember last term kicked my booty so I was planning on only doing 4 this term. Before I had made that decision I had already signed up for 5 classes and my advisor would need to add me to the 6th. Since I decided not to do that I told my counselor never mind. I intended to go to each of the three different night classes (M-W) and decide which one to drop. The term started on a Wed and I went to that class. I looked at the drop date and it was the following Tue which was great! That way I could meet all my teachers. I was eyeballing the Tuesday night class to drop because it had a group project and a 6-page paper AND the professor had said in the syllabus to bring a thick notebook as she will be giving us a lot of notes for our Capstone classes. So I went to Wed. and then the following week Monday. Tuesday 10 minutes before class started I was like yeah I'm dropping this one anyway and went in to drop it. Umm, I couldn't drop it? I looked at the college calendar again. I had looked at the Spring C term drop date, not Spring A. So I could not drop the class. This teacher is scary- I had her online for my 5-page paper in Fall B so I pulled on clothing and ran out the door. I was like 30 minutes late to class and she wasn't even in there. I passed her in the hall on her cell phone. She had stepped out to take a call. I apologized and told her I had emailed her (Which I did at a stop light lol telling her what happened) She was not what I expected and she was super nice. This teacher is KNOWN for hurting feelings and being an APA terror. She is super nice I now know, just super blunt. I made it through two group projects and a 5-page and 6-page APA paper.  

I made it through all 3 sets of night classes with a 4.0 average! Which included a 2-night hospital stay for me. Thankfully, I had sweet-talked both professors into extensions for the big papers for the whole class in two different classes before the hospitalization so that is what saved my ass. The professors would have let me turn stuff in late because I kept them in the loop but I didn't have to. 

to be continued need to go get dinner in the oven

My daughter's birthday is Feb 19th and when I was looking at presents for her and entertaining the thought of a theme park I realized there is no way in hell I could go to one with my iron the way it was. I wouldn't get winded, but if I walked at a normal speed my heartbeat would be in my ear/neck. My heartbeat would go wonky for a few seconds at a time and my Apple watch kept telling me about my high heart rate even when I was resting. I was eating ice like it was a second job as well.  I finally gave in and called the Oncologist's office. I had an appt on Feb 12th that was a blood draw and a meeting with the Dr. I had my last iron infusion in Dec 2023 and went for follow-up draws in Jan and March of 2024 but I cancelled the May and hadn't been back. I have been feeling the low iron creeping in since at least August but was angry that the Dr. just throws bandaids at me with the iron infusion and isn't trying to find out what is wrong. By October I was really feeling it but just plugging along as usual. Ok back to the Dr. appt- My blood work was taking an unusually long time for the part they run in office. He went to look at it and came back wagging his finger at me. They had tested it multiple times because of what it was at. Normal hemoglobin for women is supposed to be 12. When I went to the hospital a few years ago with chest pain it was a 7 and when I started with the oncologist. It was a 5.6 and I had just started my cycle that day and day two is my worst day. He said if I was young or old he would have me get an iron treatment that day but since I am not he would do it tomorrow. Ok great! However, when I went to check out they told me it would be a week or two because they needed to get it approved through insurance. I was worried, worried since I knew the next day I would be gushing blood. I went the work the next day 2/13 and everyone wanted to know how I was and was shocked the Dr didn't send me to the hospital with those numbers. I was concerned with my period and how much more I would lose. I left a message for the office wanting to know if the Dr was told I couldn't get anything today because as far as I knew he told me tomorrow and I figured he would think I was getting it. In the voicemail, I said I did want to wake up tomorrow. The infusion room called because they got my paperwork and wanted to know how I was feeling. I told them- that this was normal but that I was on 2nd day of period which is the worst day and I was concerned. They asked me to take my heart rate so I just went to the nurse and she had a click on and it was 137 which I told them. They hung up to go speak to the Dr.  They called back and said go to the hospital now and tell them I needed blood. 

At the hospital, my iron was at a 5.2. I ended up with two bags of blood, an iron treatment, and an IV dose of a drug that is meant to stop bleeding to slow period. They also ordered an ultrasound and there we hit pay dirt! Of course, the ultrasound techs said nothing but they took pictures which was telling. By the time I got back to my room, I could see the results. They kept me overnight so someone could talk to me about them. Imagine my surprise that I was released with instructions to see a gynecologist. No one bothered to tell me about the test results. I felt like they kept me overnight for no reason to pad my bill. 

I am actually elated at the test results. Why? Because they found something! I feel like this is the reason for all that is wrong in my life.  Ok fine, the reason for the super heavy periods which are making my iron drop each month. I have a fibroid the size of a BASEBALL  7.5 cm to be exact. I went home that Saturday showered and took a nap. Then I got to work on those papers that were due that weekend. I got an A on both thankyouverymuch!

That is my update. I realize how shitty I felt the last month plus. You know how they ask you if you have lost interest in things you once enjoyed. I totally had for a while. I even mentioned it in my last post kinda. I had a blood draw on Wed and I am at 8.7 and I feel better even though it is still low. I had the follow up with a midwife on Thursday. She was trying to recommend gentle things like birth control or IUD or partial removal. I'm all like nope take it all out! So I am meeting the surgeon at the end of the month and my plan is to get this done in July. That way I can still take my summer classes and do my internship and then have the entire month of July to heal. I expect it will have to be a full slice since I have had 3 C-sections and probably have lots of scar tissue. 

The positive thing about my screwing up and not dropping that 3rd class is that now my graduation date should be by the end of Fall A.  I want to say it is 10/9  Had I dropped that class it would have been December 2025.

There is my update. I need to try and catch up with ya'll. New term doesn't start till March 10th so I have another week of nothing on my plate which is nice.