July 2025

 I would like to list all the goals for the month of July but to be honest I have none.

Well I suppose I have a few but they are more of hopes and wishes to recover quickly and easily from surgery and to lose weight.

I had my pre-op appointment yesterday and I was so nervous about it. Turns out I was nervous for no reason. It was just a sign in, go over things, and do bloodwork. I have my instructions and special soap to use for two days before surgery and then morning of. 

I felt like I had something amazing things to blog about yesterday and now I am completely blank.

I do not have to have an alarm set till surgery day though so I am a free bird until then. 

Oh, I remember why I was thinking I had stuff to blog about. I went to Aldi yesterday because I was sad. 

Retail therapy in the form of groceries. I thought about what I bought before I bought it and didn't get a bunch of random crap. Total was still way higher than I expected but it is what it is. 

My husband's aunt is not doing well and doesn't have long on this earth I hate to say. She was diagnosed with stage 4 uterine cancer at the beginning of April. She went in for 1 treatment of chemo. She ended up falling (vertigo) and while in the hospital went a bit crazy I was told. They figured out she had a UTI and got her treatment. She was transferred to a rehab place and went a bit crazy there as well. Another UTI was found. In the mean time, her will to live has been going down hill. 

A cousin out of state came and took everything over and moved the aunt to Louisiana with her 2 weeks ago. She was telling me what horrible shape her body parts are in right after aunt got there. I know before she left she had sores on the bottom of both feet and a bed sore on her tailbone. It seems aunt only wants to sleep and is refusing food. Dr. up there gave her 2 days to 2 months. This news coupled with surgery anxiety has me seriously sad of course.

Normally, I would reach for sugar and junk to eat my feeling but instead I chose to buy some salmon to make teriyaki salmon and rice which is a comfort food for me. I looked at so much at Aldi but I wasn't even tempted to buy junk. This makes me realize that I might just be in "diet" mode again. Meaning I will last more than just a few days. 

I am not tracking really so I do not know exactly how many calories I am having but I am making better choices. Better to overeat a bunch of salmon than a bunch of sugar. It makes sense in my head even if it might not in yours. 

I didn't have all my liquid yesterday and I am not on track to have it today so I need to work on that. 

My c-section scars are making themselves know and are uncomfortable. I didn't know if it was all in my head or not but after googling it looks like it is really happening. I have been trying to work on my pelvic floor on my own to be prepped for surgery. Pelvic floor muscles run that high so I am basically pulling on my scar tissue from the inside which is why I am feeling this way it seems. 

 How bizarre that just flexing those floor muscles travels up that far. I have 3 bikini cut scars that I did zero scar care on. The are in my fat crease and the skin is already thin there so there was no way I was going to be rubbing on them to try and break them down. Anyone with a belly shelf will understand where I am coming from.