Just a little hiccup

So  remember how I said I was going to hit the grocery? Hit it I did. And got declined. 😂  Called hubby to bring me our BOA card since he had mine and there was money on that. Realized I used the wrong card. Tried again. Declined. 😯 I was like oh hell no! I tried to call the company and realized I never activated the new card. 😑 I had my card spoofed in July and they sent a new one. There was a big communication lag and things were not processed in a timely manner and when they bumped the first report they took a 2nd report. So I got a new, new card. 🙄

Lots of starter stuff to make me happy and well satisfied. I just need to cook my stuffs up for prep. My job is closed tomorrow so I shall be doing so then.

Day 1 and I feel good.

Had my 15 bean soup for lunch
2 brats with mustard for dinner.

Simple, yet I am satisfied. Not craving for sweet or really even a want at all. This is GREAT!!! This tells me that I made a good decision to start when I have since I am ready.

Got some stuff at work caught up so that I dont start 2019 feeling behind. Yaassss!

I have plans. I just need to WRITE THEM DOWN and do them.

I am getting ready to start my spur of the moment night routine I am making up as I go. I plan on being settled by 10:30 with a tiny tot snuggled up to me to sleep. That is how I plan on bringing in 2019.

Adding a picture of my kiddos in their Christmas Eve jammies so you can see how they have grown. Before I finished the pictures stinker girl literally pushed her 13 yr old brother off the chair with her head.  She. Is. The. Boss.

No picture. The app keeps crashing. I will add one tomorrow.

Dirty, Lazy, Keto

I now have a title for my "version" of dieting. I low carb but do what I want.🤷‍♀️

In the past I have called it wannabe keto. Well, before keto was a thing I just called it my hybrid low carb, no sugar thing.

Because I am odd I always like to start on weird days. I am starting tomorrow December 31st, 2018. Last time I started on the 31st I was the most successful so let's see if I can follow in my own footsteps. 

Money is tight so I will have to stock up on the less expensive foods for now. I know I have lots of protein in the freezer though because I am a food hoarder. I dont have the slightest idea why because I have never not had food in my life. Well, I lie, there was a short time before I moved in with my mother from my dad's but I was like 6 and didn't know any better. I just remember box mac n cheese, my dad's hidden swiss rolls, and mayo sammys. My brother was 12 so I am sure he would remember better. I'm afraid to ask though, as he has a hatred for our father. 

I dont have a start weight yet. I hope I remember to do so in the morning. I already have lunch packed up. Not low carb, but low sugar at least. 15 bean soup made with the ham bone from Christmas dinner we were sent home with. I gotta go with the cost part of lunch over the low carb for tomorrow. I get off at 4pm and will hit grocery with whatever is available on a credit card. Yup, life is that tight right now. My goal will be to keep the bill low. 😬

I have lots of wants for the new year. Lower our debt will be one. Hubby only works 9 months out of the year and only started working last year. He was in school for a while which you can read about like 2 posts back. So 7 yrs of 1 income and now a low income is hard. I also want to simplify my house. I have a lot of stuff and I want to purge, purge, purge. I just need to omph to do so.

Sooooo... I did a thing.

I jumped into a new car which equals 2nd car payment. 😱 Hubby's car while paid for needed a major brake job. I didn't feel it was worth investing anymore in a 2003 vehicle with known issues. One being no AC in Florida.

That means that the income must be budgeted and followed to the letter. I wrote it all out as far as bill and paydays.  It doesn't leave much of anything to play with.  I don't even have things ON the budget that need to be because I will rob Peter to pay Paul kinda thing.  I have been doing it for all these years anyway when hubby was in school.

Speaking of hubby in school. He didn't pass finals by 3 points. Nursing 4.  3 points. He chose to walk away..... 

No, I did not kill him but I did seriously consider it.

He is now working at a local High School as a special needs paraprofessional. Which means there will be a total of 2 more paychecks for the year and then it is all on me this summer.

I will make it work.  I always do.

One of the things not budgeted for is food. While we were at the dealership I was doing the standard joke about eating nothing but ramen noodles for every meal. Of course that isn't feasible.  I did however make a menu plan of meals that the supplies where already in the house for. I made some and also inserted some easy cheap meals (pancakes)  My kids/hubby are satisfied but my jeans are not. I realized I have to work on me as well as keep food costs down. Even if I eat differently then my family- I HAVE TO!  I have 2 pairs of jeans that I am wearing currently that fit.  I should have about 9 or so. My shirts that I bought when I was 30lb less that were comfortable are now so form fitting they make me not want to wear them. I do still have that box of size 18 & 20 (2 currents are 18- 1 was in laundry not put in box and 1 is newer) but I don't want to open it as that will be Pandora's box and will start my decent into weight gain even easier.

I have a plan in place and all I can do is follow it.  I have plenty of eggs if anything!!  If blogger will behave I will post a picture of my "brunch" this afternoon.

I've already gotten out of the habit of buying lunch. Now I just need to make sure to pack and take my lunches to work. I already started by making some Kaluha Pork yesterday in the instant pot. Now I just need to make a veggie and pack it up.

I think I am going to start using instagram to document meals.  My username is   theswaninme if you have any interest. 

I reset my turtle ticker above to what I was yesterday morning. 

Day 1 was perfect. 
Scrambled eggs for brunch
-insert grocery shopping trip-
Taco meat in a bowl with fixins for dinner (including 1/2 avocado-On sale for .79)

I had no sugar (I'm not stressing about taco seasoning) at all.  For curiosity sake I took my blood sugar a few hours after dinner.  94

Day 2 is going well.
Scrambled  eggs with diced sauteed smoked sausage and the other 1/2 avocado for brunch
Roast Sticky Chicken is on the menu for dinner. (whole chicken on sale for .77 a lb)
  -fresh corn for family-  Either green beans or broccoli for me. Depends on what is easiest to get to in freezer. Plus what is best to go with the pork for lunch tomorrow.

I may try and update with a picture if I remember.

So many times... (ramble ahead)

(Warning Rambles ahead)

So many times I have visited my web site here with intentions of blogging. So many times I have clicked on the few blogs I am following little snippets and read. So many times I have taken pictures on my cell to share on this blog. So many times I have written blog posts in my head. However, so many times when I come here to write, I am not feeling like writing.

So many years I keep paying for this domain name. When I first started blogging I wanted to be cool and recognized. I wanted to be able to put my .com info on the back of a shirt and have someone come read my blog. I wanted to be internet known. I realized fast that wasn't going to happen. Especially when there is one blogger here in FL that (yup I am in FL) has so much personal info out there that combined with my job skills and public records I can pull her address up in 5 minutes. Also, did you know there are website devoted to bashing bloggers and other web sites? I didn't till I did. I would never want to have a thread devoted to me. I am wayyyy to sensitive for that and I would have to read it. LOL

I am lost in the internet world.  I have NO IDEA who I am at this point. I mean yes- Obviously I am female, married, mom of 3, fur mom of many, FT employee of a small business.
Do I blog about my family? Meh, I LOVE to show off pictures of my family but I don't want to share names or possible personal info. (see above) 
I cannot blog about my job (hello, security issues)
Blogging about my animals/chickens can only go so far.
Blogging about my want to live simply and pay off debt.
Blog about my ability to not seem to be able to do that once you let me loose in a store like the blue box or red circle. Or as I like to call the red circle "My Happy Place"
 My want to have EVERYONE read my blog and yet my want to have only a main core group of supporters/friends.
My want to make everyone happy and not make waves to the outside public.
My want, well I can only assume my fake want, of losing weight.  Why do I say that? HELLO MCFLY I have been "weight loss blogging" for over FIVE YEARS NOW. That is a looooong time to play with the same pounds over and over. My like 3rd post back I mention this and how I keep yo-yoing and what the hell am I doing.

I don't know if I will ever know.

 I am happy when I fit into size 16.  I would like to fit smaller of course, we all would. Size 16 though is my medium place.  That is where I was in high school. It is to close to the teeter totter edge though. One though of "F it" leads me down the path of F it all and the clothing starts to tighten. 

Damn, I have a lot of wants apparently. I was already rambling but now my rambles are annoying me so I can only imagine how you feel.