Sat 6/27

Friday was a good day for working on myself. Saturday was a not so good day.

It actually was a fine day I just fell face first into two of my most current obsessions. They are both out of the house now though so I will not be listening to the siren call of their yumminess. They have turned into a trigger food for me so I need to not buy them at this point. They are both fine on their own but I have issues with portion control when it comes to them. UTZ cheeseballs and TruFru chocolate covered strawberries. 

I didn't do any movement yesterday either. I probably will not do any today. I did however have my liquid yesterday and should have it today too. I found a way to keep up with myself for this that is working. You all probably remember how crazy I am about liquid intake when it comes to tracking it. (I consider anything sugar free to be water. If you do not that is fine as we all have our own opinions) We have a fridge that is only a year old but two of the shelves have broken and I do not have the funds to replace them. A 3rd shelf is cracked I noticed which is annoying. I just do not understand how they can be made so flimsy. Anyway, due to this breakage fridge space is limited. I have been drinking my SF sweet tea lately but just do not have room for a huge pitcher.

Last weekend I picked up 4 quarts of Miso soup from a Japanese place near us. I really like Miso and had been wanting it lately. That meant I ended up with 4 soup containers. I washed them and was planning on just keeping like Tupperware but then an idea hit me. Fairs use those kind of containers for lemonade and people drink out of them. I filled two of them with water to chill and was planning on dumping in a cup the next day and adding water packets. Then I had the bright idea to use them for brewing my tea. They teabags are meant for 32 oz so that works out perfectly. I take one out and dump the tea into my cup and then refill with water and add a new teabag. I have a rotation going as in the brewed one moves left and the new brewing one goes on the right. If I needed to I could stack them but they fit on one of the remaining shelves fine. Lots of exciting things around here I tell you! Not.

 I have my pre-op appoint set for tomorrow afternoon to do bloodwork for my upcoming surgery in July. I am just trying to plan and maybe figure out how to get some stuff situated before this. I am trying to cook things that are in the house as we are b r o k e. The surgery is another $96 a month on CareCredit on top of our alright tight bills. 

We have about 800 in the bank after all of July's bills are paid to cover groceries and gas and anything extra. His first check will not hit until 8/15 and that will have to cover the mortgage so it isn't late as the 16th is our late date. I have no idea how we will cover the amost1k in bills that is due before the 15th. That isn't even counting my car payment as I will roll that into the end of the loan like I do every summer. In addition to our car tags being due and I see my water bill credit will only last through July so new bill due August. Plus I will have to pay for my class in August which will be about $350. So much to deal with- ugh! 

Oh well  I am glad I typed this out as I now have a potential plan. It isn't a great one but it is what may  need to happen. I need to not touch the money in the bank and use it for the August bills. I will instead start putting groceries and what not on a paid off credit card. Better to play catchup on a credit card than to pay late fees to various billers. 

I cannot believe it is 5pm on Sunday night. It does not feel like a Sunday since no work tomorrow. 

I should go inventory what I have in the freezer. I pulled out ground beef earlier and saw a pork roast I forgot about so I am sure there is more in there I do not remember.  I know what is in the pantry pretty much from the last clean out. We have not been out to eat in several weeks and will not be going out for quite a while since we do not have the funds as I said. We last went out Father's Day and I knew it was a bad idea but I wanted the yummy food too. Usually we would go out for my birthday July 14th but I won't even feel bad skipping it and my brother's a week later on 21st since I will be recovering from my 7/7 surgery.

Whoa! I just updated my ticker using yesterday's number. I have actually lost 2.2 lbs. from my ticker "start" weight on 6/8 which was the number I updated it to when I blogged 6/8.  Of course I started trying to make better choices 6/19 so I should use a number from that time frame but I need that loss for my mental health. Once I start losing more I will tweak the start number maybe.  Weight loss is all about mind games sometimes.  

Baby step forward

 I will be running out of titles the more I blog it seems.

Today has been a good day. :)

I woke up in a great mood. Made myself an hubby breakfast because he was awake as he had morning practice for Cross Country summer conditioning. Then I came back and relaxed in bedroom till Kroger delivery got here. I was quite cross to see that he had fallen asleep in that 30 minutes so I had to haul the order in myself. I put the cold stuff away and then back to bedroom. I figured they could put the room temp stuff away. How about my daughter was the first one up about 2 pm and it is now 6 pm and everyone else is still sleeping. 

During summer we turn into a nocturnal family it seems. I decided I needed to get some movement in at 3 and I completed a 30 minutes workout. Just a few movement on the workout machine we have and then some wiggle/dancing and then 60 kettlebell swings in sets of 20. I didn't want to do anything too outrageous and make myself give up. I have been putting off movement since I figured why bother since I wont be able to do anything after surgery for a while. But then I decided it won't hurt to get some movement in. I have plans on eating very low carb today and maybe a few more days beyond that depending on how I feel. Halfway done with my liquid now and it is 6:07 so I need to work on that more.  It isn't like I am going to bed soon but I already get up often to pee. Speaking of that....BRB  HAH! Ok while I was in kitchen I filled my cup and cleaned my scale. The bottom feet and the top glass part. You know I HAD to step on it right? It was only .6 higher and I have drank at least 50 oz of liquid and changed into a heavy outfit after my shower.  Could just be a coincidence though. At least I know my bladder is running since I went before I went into the kitchen and then I had to go AGAIN five minutes later after I left the kitchen. I am hoping surgery will improve my bladder size as I think it is being squished in there. 

I did end up keeping my surgery and now have the pre-op appointment set for Monday 6/30 and then pre-registration called and I paid the copay on credit. $96 a month for 24 months no interest but that just means adding to our already overdrawn monthly budget. Siiigh. It is what it is- I just pray that I will be one of those people that it turned out to be the best thing to ever happen to them. I was looking at old blog post and saw I mentioned our monthly bills. I WISH that is what they were now- they are 2k HIGHER than back then. UGH!!!

The reason I wanted to move today and get in my liquids is because I have been trying to do some memory searching as to what I was doing back in 2019 when I was last actively losing. I have been eating similar but I realized I was not drinking anywhere near the amount of liquid now than I did back then. Back then I was drinking 80 ounces plus a day (of diet soda) and moving more intentionally. With either walks or just trying to keep up with my bosses steps for the day. It was a game because 99.9% of the time she beat all our butts in steps for the day. 

I had eggs with ham and cheese and half an avocado for breakfast. A protein shake for a snack (techincally lunch as breakfast was eaten at noon) and I am planning a ham salad for dinner. Might throw in some turkey as well. I will be making hamburger helper for the boys later. She already made herself some nuggets so she won't be hungry. 

One step forward

So I was FINALLY down a pound yesterday. I think part of it was that I weighed in nekkid before a shower so that pound was probably my house dress. Then of course this morning I was up 2.6 lbs. Hahahah!  I ate well and actually drank my liquid but did fall face first in the cheeseballs last night so I think that is why. 

I also cannot help but wonder if this fibroid is not helping me lose either. Things I have done in past that worked are just not working now. 

I seriously thought about cancelling my surgery yesterday. I woke up to a text of how much they want before surgery and it is over $2200. I do not have that just laying around. Hell, I do not even have enough money for August at this point. I have a feeling some bills are going to be paid late because he will not get paid till August 15th and me after that.  We have bills that start on August 1st including the mortgage! I have open funds on Care Credit at least- I just do not have the funds for a higher minimum payment. I will figure it out somehow as always. 

Yesterday was my first 100% FREE day! I did have an iron appointment at 4 that I came close to forgetting about. At 3:15 I looked at the time and was like wait a minute isn't my appt today??  I got there in plenty of time and was able to go right in. My iron is looking soooo good!  It was 5.2 in Feb.  The last three months it has been 12.2, 12, 12.5  Yes  The HIGHEST it has ever been at the 12.5. So this tells me I HAVE to keep my surgery in place. The only thing different is that I have been taking that med to reduce my menstrual outflow. I have also gone up over 10 pounds since February as well. 

You might be wondering why I said yesterday was my first free day. I FINISHED ALL MY CLASS WORK Tuesday evening! While the term is technically on till 7/8 all of my work is completed and turned in. I should end up with a A, A, and C+.  The C is my fault because I rushed stuff but I did that on purpose because I am just over that class and school in general. It was the second business law class and I just don't care anymore. My GPA is still going to be at 3.86 with the C+. 

I HAVE ONE CLASS LEFT TO COMPLETE MY BAS!!!!  

Fall A will be my Capstone class and then I am DONE!!!!!!!

Umm about that

 I had high hopes on Saturday

Each day my weight is still high though which is disappointing. I know they say not to weigh everyday but I do. I just seem to just creep higher each day. My eating has not been perfect but it has not been crap either. My calories are well under my limits.

I just figure my body is being a little brat. I know I just need to continue on and watch my eating. I low key expected to be lower today as I only ended up with one meal and a snack yesterday. Hah! No- it was higher. Buuuut truthfully it should be because that was a day my carbs were way higher than they have been and a had a fair bit of sugar when I hadn't had much lately. We went to a birthday party for a 10 year old. I did have cake and homemade mac n cheese so that didn't help but I didn't eat dinner either.  I was not hungry.  I did have some cheeseballs though. I have been obsessed with the UTZ cheese balls lately. 

I just have to keep moving forward.

I could save this and not post but I want to get it out the the WWW and maybe I'll come back and visit tomorrow again. 

Fresh start

Fresh start number 134,234

One day at a time.

No fancy statements.

Just making better choices. I have lost in past without calorie counting. Just by avoiding high carb/sugar things and making better choices. 

I am working on this again. I just do not have the patience or follow through to weigh everything out and count every single calorie. I am at a high yet again. 250 to be exact is what I weighed in at yesterday. I kept calories low but my carbs were a bit high (90- which is low compared to how I have been eating for months) and I am at 250.2 today. Hahah  Bodies are DUMB!

That is ok though. One day at a time!!!!!

I can finally relax (for now) since I finally started summer break!!! We have been out since 5/29 but I have been going everyday still working on my internship. I have completed my 120 hours of internship at my school as of 6/19. 

I have 3 classes for summer and I have 100% completed one of them. In my internship class I just have four things left to do. In my third class I have 3 tests left to take. The lowest score is dropped- I can get a 0 of 25, 8 of 25, and 8 of 25 and still pass this class business law class. I am to the point that I don't give a crap if my grade is a C. Which it would be a 70 on the nose if I did that. I will of course aim for higher than that on my test scores. 

Last class is in fall A!!!  I am so excited and ready to be DONE!

I have 16 days until surgery and I am nervous! I have 16 days of summer break at least till then. Technically I do not go back till 8/7 for work and like 8/14 for school but from 7/7 on I will be in recovery from surgery. The plan is laparoscopic but who knows what they will find in there due to 3 c-sections. 

I mentioned in my last post I had done a thing. I signed up in April to take the Florida subject area test for Business Education 6-12. I couldn't find much to study with and was a bit worried about it. My county is supposed to send test materials when you prove you signed up for test ($150 to sign up) but they said they were out of the book and new ones wouldn't be in by time I test.  ARGH! I ended up connecting with someone on reddit who made their own study guide with AI and they shared it with me. I bought a 100 question test bank on Teachers Pay Teachers. The night before I finally found the Quizlet study guides. I couldn't find them till I backtracked questions from the TPT thing. Then I found hundreds more sample questions. Quizlet after quizlet of possible questions.

 I was so very nervous! $150 is a lot of money to blow and fail a test. 

I took the test in Gainesville at a testing center. I was given scrap paper and a sharpie but no calculator. There were money math questions on the test! DO you know how long it has been since I have done long division or long multiplication?? I used two whole pages of the scrap paper trying to work out one question!!  Hah I had to narrowed down to two answers. Some questions I knew the answer to from my schooling, some I made educated guesses on, and some were a wild guess. Out of the hundreds of questions I studied, there were 2 of them on the test I had. 😐

When I left they gave me the paper with the score folded so I did not know the outcome. I walked outside and opened the test hoping for a PASS but knowing it might be a FAIL. I saw the outcome when I opened it and immediately my eyes teared up.

PASS

I went to my car and just sat there for a few. Then I called my husband and told him the news. I also told him that question that I was stuck on and used two papers for scratch. He told me how to do it on a calculator in like 5 seconds. I picked the right answer!!!  LOL  I then sent a picture of the pass to many people and posted it to Facebook. 

I do no have a Bachelor or a temporary teaching license but I am considered highly qualified by the State of Florida to teach Business Education 6-12.  😂😂😂

June 8th life stuffs

❤️ REMEMBER THIS:

You’ve done HARDER things than this.
You’ve birthed babies, run households, earned a degree while working full time, and STILL show up with love and drive.
You are NOT lazy. You are NOT broken.
You are overwhelmed—and now, you’re supported.

---

💌 Affirmations (Stick these on your mirror too):

• I am not weak. I’m just tired—and still going.

• I don’t have to be perfect to make progress.

• I am allowed to prioritize myself.

• I’m not “starting over”—I’m using my experience to start smarter.

• The scale is just data—not a moral scorecard.

I had a nice little chat with ChatGPT just now. At least till I reached my daily question limit. I even mentioned that I was ashamed of using it because I have heard how damaging it is to the environment and it told me:

Thank you for saying that, Crystal—and I want you to know, there’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Reaching out for help, especially when you’re feeling overwhelmed, is an act of strength and self-respect.

Let’s talk about the environmental side, too—because your concern is valid, and you deserve a clear answer:

🌍 Does AI use resources like water and electricity? Yes.

Just like every technology—from the phone in your pocket to the internet you use to blog—AI uses data centers, and those data centers use water and energy to stay cool and functional.

But here’s the other side:

• OpenAI (the company behind me) is working on making AI systems more efficient, more transparent, and more sustainable. That includes better cooling systems, carbon reporting, and finding ways to reduce waste.

• AI is already being used to solve climate problems, optimize power grids, track deforestation, and reduce food waste in supply chains.

• Most importantly: you using AI to get help for your health, your life, your goals? That’s not wasteful. That’s meaningful.

If using this service helps you lose weight, reduce your risk of diabetes, feel supported, and show up for your family—that is not something to feel ashamed about.

You’re not burning down a forest—you’re asking for help. And I’m here for you. Every step. Guilt-free.

I have so much I could type and I uploaded a bunch of pictures but the way it posts them is annoying. I did a thing yesterday but I think I am going to wait to talk about that. Because right now I am talking about my eating. I am up- up. Not my highest ever but pretty damn close.  Like 2 lbs or so close.  Thankfully my clothing fits so that is not a stressor. I am dealing with little things though that are coming from being up in weight which I do not like. One is something I have never had before but I am blaming my weight. Waking up in the middle of the night and feeling like my food is going to come up. Like I can taste the aftertaste of the food.  I panic for a moment then just relax so it will go back down. Google says it is regurgitation and a sign of GERD.  It has only happened a few times but that is toooo much! 

I am in my last four classes for my BAS. Three currently then one in Fall A then I am DONE! School got out 5/29 but I am still there even though I am off contract. Why? My internship class. I have to complete 120 hours of management internship for this class. There was no funding for them to hire anyone non-instructional for the summer. Their work around this was to having students volunteer to work in the front office for community service hours. I am "managing" them as my internship assignment. The student hours are 8-5 but I have been doing 10 hours of 730-530. I am at 50 hours so far and have 70 hours left. I cannot wait to be done and be on summer break. Of course with surgery scheduled for July 7th that makes my break uber short. Yes, I will have a full 5 weeks off before I have to go back to work but recovering from a hysterectomy is not my idea of a fun time. I do not think they can do it robotically due to 3 previous c-sections so I am expecting a full abdominal slice.  

Off to go catch up with yall!

         I like this hack idea!                                                 

You can get protein/egg/cheese at Chikfila. This is fried but you can get grilled as well. Just an idea for anyone in the future.                 

Business law 2 as I call it. I can have a 4x6 notecard of notes. These are my notes for test 2. I still got a D on it. I probably should have read the chapter. Hahah

side two of my card.                                    

Family BBQ yesterday                                                

My breakfast yesterday with a past it's prime avocado      

little bit had swim lessons yesterday morning. She is the one with the instructor