Chaos

 My life is CHAOS in the most delightful way right now.  

I cannot give you details at this point but I can in about two weeks.  

Just didn't want to go weeks with a blank wall.

I haven't even had time to read up on ya'll so when I can I will have to scroll.

Basically- All the hard work I have been putting in has been reaping rewards.  

I survived!

I am up, down, and all around though.

I just discovered I can sit up in bed but I am not in a blogging mood so I will maybe be back tomorrow.  

Just wanted to update ya'll

Surgery 7/7 and stayed overnight and got home about noon on Tuesday. 

Girl, Bye

 

Stuff is getting real now that my hysterectomy surgery is just 2.5 days away. I have to be at the hospital at 5:30 am and prior to that I have to take a shower with that special cleanser. Actually, I have to start that today- I am to use 1/3 of the bottle today, 1/3 tomorrow, and then the final 1/3 the morning before surgery.  

I am a smidge disappointed in my weigh in but at least there is a smidge of a loss. I have been lower the last few days so that is why there is disappointment. I also know that bodies are dumb, and that next week's number will probably be higher. Because of retained fluids and all that jazz that comes after surgery. Attached is my quote for this surgery. 

I signed up for a weigh loss thing that is free through my health insurance and so far I have not even heard from the company. I guess a did in a way, but it was a tracking notice for a scale. Part of the program is that they send me a scale and if I follow through with the plan and use the company they will send me a Fitbit as well. Below is a picture of the scale that the shipping notice was for. I just checked- looks like the scale will get here on Monday. 

 

I have a Renpho scale that is perfectly fine but I am curious to compare weigh ins and see if they match.

Part of my wants to get stuff done and ready for Monday but the other part of me just wants to check out and hide my head in the sand. Technically, I have all day tomorrow to work on my to-do list as well. Well hell- I might as well go put my blanket in the wash now while I am blogging. 

Ok, blanket in the wash, breakfast cooked and eaten, and bills for the month of July paid. I had to wait till all the billing cycles switched over so I could pay the bills due at the end of the month. I have continued with the plan of using that credit card for groceries and sitting on the cash for Augusts bills. 

I actually got some happy news on Wednesday as I received an email about my refund processing. I was super confused as I was not expecting anything because I had already received my financial aid refund in May. I looked into it and apparently I got a bachelor scholarship for $750. Unexpected blessing that will help pay the bills for the month of August as well. I feel like I can breath a little more deeply when it comes to paying things now. 

 

July 2025

 I would like to list all the goals for the month of July but to be honest I have none.

Well I suppose I have a few but they are more of hopes and wishes to recover quickly and easily from surgery and to lose weight.

I had my pre-op appointment yesterday and I was so nervous about it. Turns out I was nervous for no reason. It was just a sign in, go over things, and do bloodwork. I have my instructions and special soap to use for two days before surgery and then morning of. 

I felt like I had something amazing things to blog about yesterday and now I am completely blank.

I do not have to have an alarm set till surgery day though so I am a free bird until then. 

Oh, I remember why I was thinking I had stuff to blog about. I went to Aldi yesterday because I was sad. 

Retail therapy in the form of groceries. I thought about what I bought before I bought it and didn't get a bunch of random crap. Total was still way higher than I expected but it is what it is. 

My husband's aunt is not doing well and doesn't have long on this earth I hate to say. She was diagnosed with stage 4 uterine cancer at the beginning of April. She went in for 1 treatment of chemo. She ended up falling (vertigo) and while in the hospital went a bit crazy I was told. They figured out she had a UTI and got her treatment. She was transferred to a rehab place and went a bit crazy there as well. Another UTI was found. In the mean time, her will to live has been going down hill. 

A cousin out of state came and took everything over and moved the aunt to Louisiana with her 2 weeks ago. She was telling me what horrible shape her body parts are in right after aunt got there. I know before she left she had sores on the bottom of both feet and a bed sore on her tailbone. It seems aunt only wants to sleep and is refusing food. Dr. up there gave her 2 days to 2 months. This news coupled with surgery anxiety has me seriously sad of course.

Normally, I would reach for sugar and junk to eat my feeling but instead I chose to buy some salmon to make teriyaki salmon and rice which is a comfort food for me. I looked at so much at Aldi but I wasn't even tempted to buy junk. This makes me realize that I might just be in "diet" mode again. Meaning I will last more than just a few days. 

I am not tracking really so I do not know exactly how many calories I am having but I am making better choices. Better to overeat a bunch of salmon than a bunch of sugar. It makes sense in my head even if it might not in yours. 

I didn't have all my liquid yesterday and I am not on track to have it today so I need to work on that. 

My c-section scars are making themselves know and are uncomfortable. I didn't know if it was all in my head or not but after googling it looks like it is really happening. I have been trying to work on my pelvic floor on my own to be prepped for surgery. Pelvic floor muscles run that high so I am basically pulling on my scar tissue from the inside which is why I am feeling this way it seems. 

 How bizarre that just flexing those floor muscles travels up that far. I have 3 bikini cut scars that I did zero scar care on. The are in my fat crease and the skin is already thin there so there was no way I was going to be rubbing on them to try and break them down. Anyone with a belly shelf will understand where I am coming from.