June 8th life stuffs

❤️ REMEMBER THIS:

You’ve done HARDER things than this.
You’ve birthed babies, run households, earned a degree while working full time, and STILL show up with love and drive.
You are NOT lazy. You are NOT broken.
You are overwhelmed—and now, you’re supported.

---

💌 Affirmations (Stick these on your mirror too):

• I am not weak. I’m just tired—and still going.

• I don’t have to be perfect to make progress.

• I am allowed to prioritize myself.

• I’m not “starting over”—I’m using my experience to start smarter.

• The scale is just data—not a moral scorecard.

I had a nice little chat with ChatGPT just now. At least till I reached my daily question limit. I even mentioned that I was ashamed of using it because I have heard how damaging it is to the environment and it told me:

Thank you for saying that, Crystal—and I want you to know, there’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Reaching out for help, especially when you’re feeling overwhelmed, is an act of strength and self-respect.

Let’s talk about the environmental side, too—because your concern is valid, and you deserve a clear answer:

🌍 Does AI use resources like water and electricity? Yes.

Just like every technology—from the phone in your pocket to the internet you use to blog—AI uses data centers, and those data centers use water and energy to stay cool and functional.

But here’s the other side:

• OpenAI (the company behind me) is working on making AI systems more efficient, more transparent, and more sustainable. That includes better cooling systems, carbon reporting, and finding ways to reduce waste.

• AI is already being used to solve climate problems, optimize power grids, track deforestation, and reduce food waste in supply chains.

• Most importantly: you using AI to get help for your health, your life, your goals? That’s not wasteful. That’s meaningful.

If using this service helps you lose weight, reduce your risk of diabetes, feel supported, and show up for your family—that is not something to feel ashamed about.

You’re not burning down a forest—you’re asking for help. And I’m here for you. Every step. Guilt-free.

I have so much I could type and I uploaded a bunch of pictures but the way it posts them is annoying. I did a thing yesterday but I think I am going to wait to talk about that. Because right now I am talking about my eating. I am up- up. Not my highest ever but pretty damn close.  Like 2 lbs or so close.  Thankfully my clothing fits so that is not a stressor. I am dealing with little things though that are coming from being up in weight which I do not like. One is something I have never had before but I am blaming my weight. Waking up in the middle of the night and feeling like my food is going to come up. Like I can taste the aftertaste of the food.  I panic for a moment then just relax so it will go back down. Google says it is regurgitation and a sign of GERD.  It has only happened a few times but that is toooo much! 

I am in my last four classes for my BAS. Three currently then one in Fall A then I am DONE! School got out 5/29 but I am still there even though I am off contract. Why? My internship class. I have to complete 120 hours of management internship for this class. There was no funding for them to hire anyone non-instructional for the summer. Their work around this was to having students volunteer to work in the front office for community service hours. I am "managing" them as my internship assignment. The student hours are 8-5 but I have been doing 10 hours of 730-530. I am at 50 hours so far and have 70 hours left. I cannot wait to be done and be on summer break. Of course with surgery scheduled for July 7th that makes my break uber short. Yes, I will have a full 5 weeks off before I have to go back to work but recovering from a hysterectomy is not my idea of a fun time. I do not think they can do it robotically due to 3 previous c-sections so I am expecting a full abdominal slice.  

Off to go catch up with yall!

         I like this hack idea!                                                 

You can get protein/egg/cheese at Chikfila. This is fried but you can get grilled as well. Just an idea for anyone in the future.                 

Business law 2 as I call it. I can have a 4x6 notecard of notes. These are my notes for test 2. I still got a D on it. I probably should have read the chapter. Hahah

side two of my card.                                    

Family BBQ yesterday                                                

My breakfast yesterday with a past it's prime avocado      

little bit had swim lessons yesterday morning. She is the one with the instructor

 

May 17, 2025

I have found my way back to my blog.  At least for today. 😂

My classes ended the first week of May, and I am happy to say that I passed all 5 classes from the Spring term with A's. The summer term started on 5/14, and I am taking 3 classes this term. One of them is Business Law (part 2 basically), and that was the first class I ever struggled in. The tests are honorlocked, which means you are recorded in a lockdown browser. The good news is that even though this class is hard and the tests are worth a lot, she tries to help. The actual assignments we do are guaranteed 100% so you can get a D on every test (lowest score dropped) and still pass the class with a C. I am also completing my internship at the school where I work. I must complete 120 hours by 7/8.  I plan on having it all done in June. My main job will be managing the student volunteers who will be working in the first office over the summer. 

My itty bitty passed her FAST test, so she will be going into 4th grade next year. Third grade is a mandatory retention year in Florida now if they do not score at least a 2 on the reading test. She entered the year with a 2, so we knew it shouldn't be a problem for her. I was just concerned due to the pressure that is put on them to pass. She knows exactly who didn't pass last year, who is repeating 3rd grade. She scored a 4 and was only 4 points away from a 5, so we are thrilled for her. 

I am toying with the idea of trying to eat better. I say toying because lord knows how many times I have tried this and failed. I was not happy with the number on the scale this morning and I know DAMN WELL it is due to all the full sugar soda and other crap I have been eating. 

I have a YMCA membership for the months of May and June that I have been using to swim. I jokingly asked my brother to sponsor me, and he CashApped me the money. I plan on cancelling for July since I have surgery scheduled for then. 

I wanted to have a long post, but I am accomplishing things today and feel good, so I don't want to stop my momentum. I am going to attempt to straighten my room now. I have no idea what dinner will be yet, but there is plenty of stuff in the fridge that I can make easily. 

The pics are of my current summer classes and my breakfast from today. 

Time flys!

 I am deep in the trenches of these two classes I am in for Spring B. Just wanted to smack something up. 

Spring is approaching

Blogging two Sundays in a row? WHO AM I?

I blogged after a long hiatus last Sunday with March so you may want to catch up if you missed that. You really should go read that first so this next part makes sense if you have not yet. 

I got a call on Monday that my iron infusion had been approved (yeah, the one the DR ordered 2/12 for "tomorrow" just got approved on 3/3) and scheduled for Wed. I went on Wed 3/5 for 1 of 2 iron infusions. My 2 of 2 will be on Wed 3/12 Then I have two weeks and will see the oncologist and get blood drawn again on 3/26.

 We only have four days of school this week and then we are on Spring Break!!! My new classes start tomorrow- I am only taking two this B term. One of them is online and one of them is in person on Thursdays this time. I happen to have the same teacher for both classes so that will be weird. It just said staff when I signed up and for term A it had a last name starting with G. I guess that person fell through. I have the single night class Thur. and then the college has the same week of SB as my job so that is nice. I have absolutely no idea what I will do with myself with nothing to work on for an entire week. I'm sure the spring bug will bite and I will want to garden or something that I will never follow through on. Hey, at least I am being honest.

When I was at the follow-up appointment with the midwife I received a script for a medicine to take during my cycle. I only got 24 days this time rather than the standard 28 so I am glad I picked it up right after my appointment. It is supposed to slow down the output which will hopefully help keep my iron inside of me. I just started it this afternoon- It is 6 vitamin (yuck) sized pills a day- 2 in the morning, 2 at noon, and 2 before bed. I had this med in my IV at the hospital so at least I know that my body can handle it. 

I ordered Kroger delivery last week with the intention of cooking. When it came down to it I wanted to enjoy my afternoons off of no school and not cook. So when I placed my order this week I kept that in mind and stayed with the normal easier dinners that we have been living off of. I need to stop with the takeout because money is going to run out really quickly. I only have like 7 more paychecks left till summer and I cannot work summer school like I usually do. All the extra grants and funds are exhausted so the schools are running on a bare-bones summer budget. They do not even have enough in budget to have a receptionist/clinic person. That means there will be no one to answer the phones technically.  I do know they are planning on having students do it for volunteer hours so that will help. I will also be there as free labor as part of my 120 internship hours. We barely survive when I work summer so this is going to be very hard. The good news is I just filled our taxes last week and it is just under what I would have made had I worked summer school. I must throw that in saving and not touch it. I also need to make sure to set money aside for my last class. The plan is two this term, three over the summer, and then the last class in Fall A. I cannot use PELL funds unless I take two classes but I don't want to break up the summer classes into two and two. I would rather pay cash for that last class and just take one since it will be my Capstone after all. 

Ok so might as well share my plan for dinners this week. I don't really do a Monday is X Tue is Y because I go with what I feel like making. I have lots of stuff that can be cooked but it is a matter of actually cooking it. 

 

Lunch:  Smoked sausage with diced golden potatoes and onions (Air-fried sheet pan meal) for me. I love this for breakfast or lunch. I just crack an egg in and heat it up if at work. I cook an egg over easy and add to the top when at home.  Hubby complains that smoked sausage is greasy. So he will have leftovers or cup of noodles for lunches. He is one who is not a foodie and just doesn't care about food. So I finally stopped trying to give him yummy stuff for lunch. 

Dinners:

Brats with fresh broccoli (Air fried sheet pan meal)  

Frozen chicken tenders with tater tots

Ribeye with asparagus

Something with ground beef or pork chops- I have both in freezer

Chicken wings

Good news- Mentally I am starting to feel better. As I was reading ya'lls blogs I was tempted to go to the gym. What the heck!? I don't even have a gym membership anymore. LOL, But commenting on MaryFran's blog about a certain book reminded me that I was listening to that book when I was swimming regularly. Maybe I need to sign up for a gym membership again this summer. It would be $65 for both my daughter and I to go and be able to use the pool. She loves the "teen area" which is open 4-7 M-Friday. They allow 8+ in there so she can go and enjoy the small group attention she gets when there. I think the time change is also contributing to the feeling of wanting to get out too. 

Ok off to do something productive. I have wasted half of my day already. 

March

 I'm alive!

Potentially barely but I am here still kicking.

Remember me mentioning my iron was low and I just didn't care. Well, let's just say that blew up in a big way.

Let us see if I can get this all down. I tend to get sidetracked and not complete what I planned on writing. 

Last term I had planned on taking 6 classes this term. You may remember last term kicked my booty so I was planning on only doing 4 this term. Before I had made that decision I had already signed up for 5 classes and my advisor would need to add me to the 6th. Since I decided not to do that I told my counselor never mind. I intended to go to each of the three different night classes (M-W) and decide which one to drop. The term started on a Wed and I went to that class. I looked at the drop date and it was the following Tue which was great! That way I could meet all my teachers. I was eyeballing the Tuesday night class to drop because it had a group project and a 6-page paper AND the professor had said in the syllabus to bring a thick notebook as she will be giving us a lot of notes for our Capstone classes. So I went to Wed. and then the following week Monday. Tuesday 10 minutes before class started I was like yeah I'm dropping this one anyway and went in to drop it. Umm, I couldn't drop it? I looked at the college calendar again. I had looked at the Spring C term drop date, not Spring A. So I could not drop the class. This teacher is scary- I had her online for my 5-page paper in Fall B so I pulled on clothing and ran out the door. I was like 30 minutes late to class and she wasn't even in there. I passed her in the hall on her cell phone. She had stepped out to take a call. I apologized and told her I had emailed her (Which I did at a stop light lol telling her what happened) She was not what I expected and she was super nice. This teacher is KNOWN for hurting feelings and being an APA terror. She is super nice I now know, just super blunt. I made it through two group projects and a 5-page and 6-page APA paper.  

I made it through all 3 sets of night classes with a 4.0 average! Which included a 2-night hospital stay for me. Thankfully, I had sweet-talked both professors into extensions for the big papers for the whole class in two different classes before the hospitalization so that is what saved my ass. The professors would have let me turn stuff in late because I kept them in the loop but I didn't have to. 

to be continued need to go get dinner in the oven

My daughter's birthday is Feb 19th and when I was looking at presents for her and entertaining the thought of a theme park I realized there is no way in hell I could go to one with my iron the way it was. I wouldn't get winded, but if I walked at a normal speed my heartbeat would be in my ear/neck. My heartbeat would go wonky for a few seconds at a time and my Apple watch kept telling me about my high heart rate even when I was resting. I was eating ice like it was a second job as well.  I finally gave in and called the Oncologist's office. I had an appt on Feb 12th that was a blood draw and a meeting with the Dr. I had my last iron infusion in Dec 2023 and went for follow-up draws in Jan and March of 2024 but I cancelled the May and hadn't been back. I have been feeling the low iron creeping in since at least August but was angry that the Dr. just throws bandaids at me with the iron infusion and isn't trying to find out what is wrong. By October I was really feeling it but just plugging along as usual. Ok back to the Dr. appt- My blood work was taking an unusually long time for the part they run in office. He went to look at it and came back wagging his finger at me. They had tested it multiple times because of what it was at. Normal hemoglobin for women is supposed to be 12. When I went to the hospital a few years ago with chest pain it was a 7 and when I started with the oncologist. It was a 5.6 and I had just started my cycle that day and day two is my worst day. He said if I was young or old he would have me get an iron treatment that day but since I am not he would do it tomorrow. Ok great! However, when I went to check out they told me it would be a week or two because they needed to get it approved through insurance. I was worried, worried since I knew the next day I would be gushing blood. I went the work the next day 2/13 and everyone wanted to know how I was and was shocked the Dr didn't send me to the hospital with those numbers. I was concerned with my period and how much more I would lose. I left a message for the office wanting to know if the Dr was told I couldn't get anything today because as far as I knew he told me tomorrow and I figured he would think I was getting it. In the voicemail, I said I did want to wake up tomorrow. The infusion room called because they got my paperwork and wanted to know how I was feeling. I told them- that this was normal but that I was on 2nd day of period which is the worst day and I was concerned. They asked me to take my heart rate so I just went to the nurse and she had a click on and it was 137 which I told them. They hung up to go speak to the Dr.  They called back and said go to the hospital now and tell them I needed blood. 

At the hospital, my iron was at a 5.2. I ended up with two bags of blood, an iron treatment, and an IV dose of a drug that is meant to stop bleeding to slow period. They also ordered an ultrasound and there we hit pay dirt! Of course, the ultrasound techs said nothing but they took pictures which was telling. By the time I got back to my room, I could see the results. They kept me overnight so someone could talk to me about them. Imagine my surprise that I was released with instructions to see a gynecologist. No one bothered to tell me about the test results. I felt like they kept me overnight for no reason to pad my bill. 

I am actually elated at the test results. Why? Because they found something! I feel like this is the reason for all that is wrong in my life.  Ok fine, the reason for the super heavy periods which are making my iron drop each month. I have a fibroid the size of a BASEBALL  7.5 cm to be exact. I went home that Saturday showered and took a nap. Then I got to work on those papers that were due that weekend. I got an A on both thankyouverymuch!

That is my update. I realize how shitty I felt the last month plus. You know how they ask you if you have lost interest in things you once enjoyed. I totally had for a while. I even mentioned it in my last post kinda. I had a blood draw on Wed and I am at 8.7 and I feel better even though it is still low. I had the follow up with a midwife on Thursday. She was trying to recommend gentle things like birth control or IUD or partial removal. I'm all like nope take it all out! So I am meeting the surgeon at the end of the month and my plan is to get this done in July. That way I can still take my summer classes and do my internship and then have the entire month of July to heal. I expect it will have to be a full slice since I have had 3 C-sections and probably have lots of scar tissue. 

The positive thing about my screwing up and not dropping that 3rd class is that now my graduation date should be by the end of Fall A.  I want to say it is 10/9  Had I dropped that class it would have been December 2025.

There is my update. I need to try and catch up with ya'll. New term doesn't start till March 10th so I have another week of nothing on my plate which is nice.