I typed that first sentence out feeling sad. Feeling sad that when I hopped on the scale this morning (ok, not a literal hop) that it only showed a .4 loss from my last weigh in. I was sad that I didn't have a 2-3 lb loss like some of you (Ahem Anna) have almost daily it seems like. (I do try and remember though that I am not following a plan like those daily losers are though) Anyway those of you on my FB know that hubby made a cake last night. My status: Hubby is baking a cake. Asshole. I was emotionally strong yesterday and even though the wonderful aroma filled the house while it was baking I had no desire for a piece.
Today however after still feeling grumpy from that ONLY .4 down earlier- I saw the cake. Out in plain site on the counter. I touched the pan. Looked at the cake. Imagined the soft textured, moist chocolate flavored cake in my mouth. I realized that I could easily eat the entire pan and probably still want more. ( 9x11 non-iced sheet cake minus one square- If it was iced I doubt I could eat the whole thing) I told myself that I couldn't do that. I have been sugar/grain free for many days now and it wasn't worth it for a boxed cake mix. That I already undid some of my loss last year and I couldn't go back to my old ways and eat whatever I want ever again or I would just balloon back up. I decided I would distract myself with 2 SF PB cups and writing a blog post.
I came in the bedroom and realized I have no idea what day I am on as to my re-commitment to eating better. Last year I started on New Year's Eve but this year I know I started earlier. I grabbed my phone and looked at the calendar as I knew that I marked in on there. What did I see that instantly made me feel better??
I saw that I started December 28th at 220. The number I saw this morning began with a 216. I have only been back at this 8 days. 220 to 216 is great! I felt grumpy because I only had 217.2 in my head, not the actual 220 it was.
Hang in there. I put the kabosh on all home baking when I was losing. The "others' got their cake out at the grocery, or slices that they finished and went on with a birthday party. All baking stopped at my house and the bakery is permanently closed. Nobody passed out, had a "cake deficiency", complained much or cared.
ReplyDeleteBut I stopped binging. Good luck and keep up the good work with abstaining. Total freedom for me. It's hard work, but so worth it.
The mind can sure play tricks! You're doing great. Don't compare yourself too much to others. As long as the scale is heading down and you feel better and healthier, that's the most important thing.
ReplyDeleteLOL I wish! If I was dropping 2-3 pounds almost daily I'd be at goal in no time! Lol ... Closer to almost every week, and this week it was .88 pounds. You're doing fine, we're on different paths and that's ok. Cake is a temptation but stay strong! :) My hubby occasionally has treats in the house but the only thing that ever tempts me is nuts ... Peanuts and cashews really.
ReplyDeleteYay for you! :-)
ReplyDeleteGREAT job! :: claps ::
ReplyDeleteNumbers on the scale are always going to be upsetting if it's NOT what we want to see. I only weigh once a month, that way any natural ups and downs during the month do not put me off the end goal.
ReplyDeleteYou can do it chick, resist the bloody cake! I am doing the exact same thing today!